#28 Buy a New Computer

You might not believe this, but when I put this on my bucket list, I immediately wanted to take it off.

This probably seems contrary to human nature-- why would anyone not want a brand new computer? And putting it on my bucket list actually gave me an entire year to save for it, which is honestly plenty of time. But the reason for my reluctance is this: I hate spending money. Sure, after I buy something I usually enjoy the product. But the battle of spending a great deal of money versus the pleasure of buying something I really want nearly always ends in me not buying it.

There probably is some deep psychological reason for this. I have a fear of dependency and from age 15 when I started my first job until now I have done everything in my power to ensure I will be able to take care of myself without relying on anything. Maybe it has something to do with my dad not having a job for several years when I was growing up. I don't know. But I do know that I am extremely overly responsible with money to the point of one $4 magazine once a month being my luxury purchase, and having a hard time buying shoes until the soles are completely worn out, and refusing to buy eyeliner until I literally cannot see any trace of it on my skin, and not feeling comfortable unless I have a couple hundred dollars of cushion money in my bank account and $2000 credit card overdraft protection. (I do sometimes force myself to buy these things, but it's always a battle.)

Honestly, I think this is mostly a good thing (I never have overdraft fees or late payments), and totally the opposite of the majority of America's money problems. But my tendencies can be irresponsible in other ways: example, I don't like to buy gas until I'm on empty and I really need it. Obviously, this runs the risk of greater problems.

Other example: buying a computer.

If you didn't read my facebook status the other day, I will describe again the current condition of my computer. The disc drive broke a couple years ago, which I lived with, but was never happy about (it was always a pain to try to upload my new CD's, etc.) I had a plastic computer, which eventually cracked when I accidentally dropped it. Within the last year, the screen started to become fuzzy and I eventually had to tilt it just the right way to even see anything. My USB port only worked 10% of the time, so I couldn't charge my phone anymore (and I also had no way to upload any files at all-- since my disc drive was broken, too.) The start up sound did not sound the way a start up sound should. And lastly, I pulled it out the other day and my battery had swelled to twice its normal size. I took it out and couldn't put it back in-- and was also nervous to have it in the house, since I had no idea why it would "swell"-- so I threw it away. So my computer officially would only work when it was directly plugged into the wall. Every single time I pulled it out, I was afraid that I would find that it was no more, and began using it once a week maximum.

Psychologically, I felt like this was a "want" and not a "need." I have internet access at work, I have an iphone. But, I had no way to work on resumes. I had 4 days of music on my computer, and no way to back it up. I am going to grad school in the next few years and it will eventually become a requirement... Common sense said to get myself to buy it now, so I could salvage my music and files before my last computer officially died.

I kept putting it off as my computer became more and more sick, until I knew I wouldn't buy it unless I put it on my bucket list.

So, I sat down and spent literally two hours writing out a financial plan-- I know, I'm a loser-- and finally said "I'm buying it today." It was like jumping into a cold pool or ripping a band aid off-- I knew I wouldn't do it if I took my time and thought any more about it.

Conclusion: I am now the proud owner of a beautiful, new Macbook Pro! (I forgot how fast computers can be!)

Interesting Fact: I got it the same day Steve Jobs resigned from Apple. Not sure if that means anything...